How to Stop Fighting Step #1 Limit the Escalation Spiral

Option C. Overstate Your Case

People often say things that are more extreme than what they really mean.

They may do this because:

• They are angry.
• They expect to have to back down, so they want to have somewhere to back down to. (In other words, they want to have some "bargaining chips.")

This is a dangerous strategy, though, because:

• It tends to make the other person even more angry (therefore driving the escalation spiral)
• It tends to encourage the other person to do the same thing -- taking an overly extreme position against you.

If you don't care about the relationship AND

You are sure you can win...

Then this strategy may make sense.

BUT, if you do care about the relationship -- or future interactions

and/or

You are NOT SURE you can win,

It might be helpful to consider the other options.